26 facts about me

1. I love my kids more than anything in the world
2. I love to shop, far more than any person should
2. I baby my kids to much, but I know one day I will look back and be glad that I did
3. I think that I have a pretty great life, its not perfect, but its mine!
4. I am very grateful for my family, they mean everything to me
5. I miss all my friends, I don't get to see them enough. 
6. I grew up so much in the past 5 years
7. I love to cook and bake
8. I HATE doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, its my least favorite chore
9. NEVER in a million years did I think that I would have 3 kids, but I couldnt imagine my life without each one of them!
10. I am very much a girly girl, but you would never know it by looking at me
11. I love hearing about celebrity gossip 
12. I have very weird luck, if something weird is going to happen its going to happen to me
13. I hate making plans, I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants
14. I am usually late
15. I am addicted to the internet plain and simple
16. I can get along with pretty much anyone
17. I procrastinate because I do my best work under pressure.
18. I have a horrible sweet tooth!
19. I drink way to much milk
20. There are so many things that I want to do with my life, and I have yet to do enough of them
21. I love to write, but dont do it enough
22. My mom is my best friend
23. I LOVE music
24. I could wear a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops, everyday for the rest of my life and be happy
25. I actually enjoy watching ultimate fighting

26. My twin sons were born more than 2 and a half hours apart with no epidural or no drugs during the delivery

kids

Well just a little update on the kids...Christmas was great, this year the boys really understood santa and the big picture about Christmas in general. They got a lot of really cool toys, and they were really excited Christmas morning to wake up with everything under the tree. The baby got a lot of cute things to, she really seemed to enjoy it. They are all getting so big, I cant believe that they baby is going to be 10 months here in a few days, its really hard to believe. She is starting to pull herself up on everything and starting to cruise around. We are starting to eat a lot more table food and I am bound and determinded that she will not be picky like the boys are. The boys start back to school this week, which is good for them. They really seem to do well with that structure during the day. And its nice for me to get a little break! Other than that just have been trying to get things back in order from the holidays! Joe has been home a lot these past few weeks with christmas and new years, and although it is nice to have him home, it makes things a little more stressful since he gets so restless. Other than that monday is back to the normal schedule, and hopefully things will fall into place!

2009 can this year be different?!?

Ever since I can remember, every year come new years I made a resolution that I NEVER followed through with. The one that every year I go back to is losing weight. And yet again this year I have vowed to lose weight. But there are some things that I am going to try to get it right.

I have many 2009 resolutions, my weight and health being at the top of my list, but here they are:

*eat better and exercise
*take better care of my family and myself
*minimal fast food and eating out
*no wasteful spending
*save more money
*recycle more
*work on my relationships with my friends and my family
*be more organized and more clean


These are things in my life that I am really going to work on, and in a strange way they are all linked. If my house is clean, I feel better, and take better care of my self and my family. When I am not spending money on junk I can save money! Less fast food mean less unhealthy choices, and also leads to saving money!

These are just a few of the things that I am going to work on, maybe in a few months I will revise this list or change it a bit. I am really going to make an effort this year, I really am. I am tired of being so big, and tired of looking the way that I do. I dont want to have a daughter that grows up in a body that she hates, and that is how I feel. I know I can lose the weight, but it is going to take a lot of work, I just hope that I still have it in me!

I get no peace...

I love being a mom more than anything in the world!  I love my kids with every ounce of my being, but it seems that I never get a minute to myself, even when they are sleeping I am doing something that involves them, whether it be scheduling doctors appts, dentist appts, getting things ready for school, doing their laundry, washing their dishes, cleaning up their messes or dealing with something that somehow involves them!  I cant even get privacy when I am going to the bathroom!  

I know when they get older I will wish that they were younger again!  And I love the things they do and say, but somedays I feel like I am about to lose my sanity!

i believe

I Believe...


That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The Same goes for true love.




I Believe....
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.



I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.



I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.



I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.



I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.





I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.




I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.



I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.



I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but
that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.



I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.



I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others; sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.



I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.




I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for whom we become.



I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.


I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.



I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.



I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.




I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

no more babies

Well the end of baby making as we know it may be over here in a few days.  Joe is going in for the big V on friday, and I really dont know what to make of it.  I am happy with the size of our family, I think that 3 is the ideal number for us, but what if down the road I want another one, a reversal is kind of out of the question because it is expensive and the dr said that the way he does it is pretty perminant.  I keep telling myself that once my brothers have babies I will have it out of my system, but I see Elyse getting bigger, and I miss her as a baby.  Im not a big fan of being pregnant but there is something about the whole process that makes you feel so good.  You grow a baby in you, its an amazing thing, aside from the morning sickness, being tired, crabby, emotional and all that jazz.  But when you feel that baby move inside of you it just makes you feel all warm inside.  And after those 9 months getting to see that baby is the best feeling in the world!  So I guess that part of my life is over (or soon will be) but a part of me might miss the possibility of all that happening again kinda makes me a bit sad.

On a side note, Amanda is pregnant, which is exciting, a bit weird thinking that my baby brother is going to have a baby!  He is going to make such an amazing father, and I am glad that he found someone that wants to start a family. They are going to make great parents!

sometimes its like fitting a square peg in a round hole

There has been a lot of tension lately between Joe and I, and I really dont know what is going on with us.  We fight about little stuff and get annoyed with each other, but lately it has been pretty bad.  We have gotten into 2 huge fights over the past month.  I dont know what to do anymore, its like we have hit a brick wall and we keep on arguing about it instead of doing something about it.  I wish that I could say that we love spending every second togther, and that we are the "perfect" couple, but we arent, never have been probably never will be.  We are happy together and I see us growing old and grey together, but I just wish that I could figure out what is going on inside of his head.  He says that he doesnt feel like himself, and he just is BLA all the time, and I guess I can understand where he is coming from with that.  I just am tired of being his doormat, he walks all over me, treats me like shit, and half the time he seems like he wants nothing to do with me, for instance, for our anniversary we went out to dinner, half the time he was playing in his blackberry, I dont know what to do, cause if I bring it up I am the bad guy, but if I dont he continues to do it as if its no big deal.  

ARRRR, I am just so frusterated!