my fear

I am really afraid of so many things in life, but losing the ones I love is probably my biggest fear.  The one that is bigger than that is my children growing up with out me in their lives.  Them not remembering me, not knowing who their mom is. I think about Amys son, he was 3 when she passed and it just breaks my heart to think that he will hardly remember who his mother is, and it might be better for him that way, but how confusing would that be, one day your mom is there and the next you are wondering when you will see her again.  My heart breaks for both of them.He has to go through life struggling to hold on to what memories he has of her, and who knows if when he gets older if he will even remember the time that they spent together.  I know that they will meet again someday, but not being able to hug, kiss, and love your children would be the hardest thing.  Im sure that she will always be with him, but there is nothing like the mothers love, and its just hard to imagine going through life with out it. My mom said at their funeral Amys father mentioned that she was always kissing him, and that it was probably because she on some level knew that she needed to cause her time was limited.  So she got a lifetime of love in 3 years.